11:31 pm



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9:59 pm

*sigh*

once again i am here
to talk about my grivences in life.
who knows why i make myself go through
all this stuff..
i kinda put myself up to it.
and knowing that i can't do it
i fail.
life is a hard thing.
dying is also a hard thing.
one day.
when i get the courage.
mayb i will try dying...
but for the time being.
i can only think of what it would be like after i die.
ok, my aunt is thinking of moving to toronto.
who will care for me when my parents leave too?
answer: friends. mayb.. if i still have any that care.
so i might move up too!
so i have six years.
"i need to make the best of these six years"
is never going to happen
because i've already screwed the beginning of the six years
haha... o wellz
im a messed up person anyways.
so if i do leave.
all i have to say is.
bye friends who still care
i'll come back to visit.
and i love you all very much...
tada.
ok im done..
not vry much grivences.
but grief is all in the heart.
not meant to be poured into computers
beter to talk to inanimate things.
like stitch!...
yes yes.. i will slowly go insane...

~me
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3:18 pm

rant

once again i am here to rant and rave about my life...
i hate this world right now...
ppl that r friends.. or i call them friends
make plans w/o me...
hmm welll iono they mite have a good reason but w/e
theres many things that r preventing me frm doing what i want to do..
y does life have to be like this
y cant i live life the way i want to live it...
teachers are fcuktards... i hate them
they give me all this shit to do
nd omg!...
y do ppl have to do this to me...
*sigh* im losing my grip on things once again
i really want to be optimistic
and think everything will be okay
but the more i think about it these days...
the more i know im fooling myself..
things will never be okay...
nd things will never be over...
i don't know how much longer i can take this...
i feel like everything is falling apart again...
it was great while it lasted..
the fact that i had a grip on most of the things in my life...
i agree with what francis said...
the point of life is to wait for death...
welpp..
ok im done ranting nd raving... nd now i needa go do more shit...
i hate this world..
when will all this pain and suffering end.
one day...
one day when i get the courage
to take that knife....

~slowly dying me
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10:05 pm

failiure

i cant stand it nymore!!! garrr!!!!
im gonna die sum day
because of stress
shuda listend to mom in freshman summer
*sigh* hella shuda juz transferred skoo
nd b a slacker yet still get A's hahahaha
o wellz... i chose the path to take
evn tho its a horrible one...
i have.. uhh friends =] yay go friends
but then again most of them r smarter..
so im just... uhh feeling stupid around them..
but its also nice to have them help me...
when they're not busy or nythin...
hmm wut else...
im not so much confused about things nymore i guess
i've thought things thru... not my problem... i dont think about it... hahaha...
bleh... grey is in the air as usual...
iono y... depression is getting at me again...
but then again i've stopped all that.. uhh
hurting stuff... bleh ok gotta go baii

~me
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3:19 pm

now i know

Now i know y u have to leave
I hope you finish whatever you need to do
and Come back safely
and you said u wud b gone for good hehe
o wellz hmm wut now...
im tired
nd wanna slp
but i have hw
for the past few days
i've been feeling vry...
fatigued.. iono y
i must get more slp 2n.
so i wont b slpy at skoo...
God Help Me be Strong! =]

~me
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